Here We Go Again

I can’t believe my first semester of college is a little over halfway through. I celebrated my birthday with purple hair and a new guy I can proudly call my boyfriend. He’s pretty cool and we vibe damn well with each other. Besides that, nothing has changed.

I’m playing Magic: The Gathering with a new group of friends and sleeping as little as possible. But I’m no longer really complaining. I’m just tired of being upset with myself when I am tired. I’ve learned that it’s okay to be exhausted. But it’s not okay to let it hinder your everyday activities.

Although I have been really busy, I’ve been trying to get my head around things lately. The past guy (whom I have mentioned before) just didn’t cut it for me anymore. There was something about that relationship that didn’t make me feel complete. I guess I just needed someone closer to me. In every aspect of the word.

As a girl, it’s stereotypical to go through a guy or two in life, but I think it’s dumb we limit ourselves to who we meet. I even said I was done with meeting new people. We’re never done with meeting new people and falling in love. We only have one life and we need to spend that time exploring the world around us. College did exactly that for me.

The first night of fall break, I had a few friends over and we just chilled for hours. I don’t think they cleared out until 1:30 am. On the first actual day of fall break, Thursday, my dad came up and I took him to my favorite taco place. After that, we went to Starbucks and I got a new coffee tumbler.  I went to Tulsa twice over my fall break. Once on Friday to go to a Magic tournament with the love and some friends of ours. Then on Saturday to a concert to see Finish Ticket, with just the love. I got to touch the lead singer when he crowd surfed. Sunday was my relaxation day with only half of it spent hanging out with friends.

With everything that has been going on, I think reflection right now is good for me. I’ve finally been able to get my bearings and actually feel genuine love for the people around me. I don’t think I could be doing better at this point. I’ve finally accepted I needed more than what I was given and where I need to be. I think I have found that point, but we’ll see where it goes.

College is Killer

Okay, I’ve now been murdering myself for a month. My classes have officially been in full swing and I’ve had little to no sleep. However, I have had a lot of love from friends and a close guy. I think I’ve mastered this social life part.

Academically, I think I’ll do fine. I really don’t see myself falling behind. In fact, I’ve worked too far ahead that I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m so used to deadlines and knocking out tasks the second I get them that handing a full schedule to me isn’t the best. I also remember everything I’ve read/written.

I do miss my dad. He’s kind of been a secondary since I’ve moved. He knows when I’m having a bad or good day, but Father doesn’t know how I’m physically doing. My eyes have slightly darkened since moving and my acne has gotten a little worse. I need to do a lot of things with myself in the health department actually. However, walking around campus has actually built some leg muscle.

I need to do a lot of things with myself in the health department actually. However, walking around campus has actually built some leg muscle.

Freshman 15 may not hit me too hard because I have been watching what I eat, but also understanding that I can’t just starve myself and call that good. It’s probably a good thing I’m gaining some weight, honestly.

Anyway, I’m sorry I haven’t been on here as often. I’ve finally got my schedule down and doing what I need to do. How is everyone doing, though? Any advice on college issues or life?

 

A Brave New World

How much time have I spent doing school work? Too much.

I enjoy the unlimited snack times, delicious Hubert’s Lemonade and nonstop cleaning. But I still miss home. I miss sports writing and I miss having free time. I can’t believe I haven’t read my New York Times from less 24 hours ago. I have it open ready to read any minute now.

I miss sports writing and I miss having free time. I can’t believe I haven’t read my New York Times from less 24 hours ago. I have it open ready to read any minute now.

But alas, I have plans to go to Denny’s at 3 with a very good friend of mine and, perhaps, a new friend.

A friend of mine told me I work too hard and he’s not wrong. My dad is proud of me for putting in the effort. He’s actually 100% down with me staying busy because I’m also staying out of trouble. I don’t agree with it, but I eventually have time to relax and do everything he’s worried about.

Just kidding. That needs to happen throughout these next four years, not all at once.

Thinking of which, I’m doing all right. I’m still chilling with Football Guy and made friends with a girl across campus and my roommate. She probably doesn’t like the fact I’m always in and out. I can’t study in one spot for too long. But I pamper her with cupcakes and Hubert’s Lemonade. My current addiction to life.

It’s also nice I’ve had Zeus (my speaker) here for about a week. He’s made the homework and blogging a little more lively. I’m not sure how in the world music does it, but I just jam out to the Cold War Kids, The Strokes and Red Hot Chili Peppers. Life tends to flow that way.

I’m about 99% sure I’ve turned into a lazy driver. My car Calypso does so much running around with to Sprouts and everywhere else. It’s nice to be home and not go anywhere.

I also started calling my dorm home. Oh goodness. This isn’t too bad of a lifestyle. Why did I stress about this move so much?

College

Damn.

That’s really all I have to say. I miss being home and I miss being able to talk to people. It’s such a new environment. I’m literally starting over, but this time slightly alone.

Dad came by around 11:30 to drop off some medication I needed. Asthma and allergies suck, but I did realize there is a serious support system. There is literally no break session.

I think something they don’t tell you about college is how weird the first week will be, also how little people actually open up. Also, your grades don’t really matter (C’s get degrees).

College lifestyle and goals are really about building a resume and getting a diploma. No matter how you get them. But you also need to have fun doing it.

My hall literally does nothing, and I’m okay with this because I somehow make events. But the real party is on the second and first floors.

Although, the first floor never sleeps.

As gone as my RA is, somehow he still found time to get a few people from my hall to go to a freshman event. He’s pretty chill, but I’m 99% sure he’s on the third floor playing video games. I need my Xbox up here.

I went to laser tag and kicked another gamer to the curb at Halo. Well, kind of. I did pretty well tho.

Adjusting isn’t easy. I’ve gone through a lot of stress, family issues still exist, homesick is a thing and finding places to eat on campus is slightly more difficult than I thought it would be. There is a Sprouts (all natural grocery store) nearby.

Oh, and I’ve been chilling with a few friends. I forgot to mention that. So I’m not fully alone. Just adjusting. It’s interesting to have volleyball games at 2 a.m. They seem to never end. Pokemon GO sure is a thing too. I think I took a gym three times now? Lost it like 20 seconds later, but that’s chill.

This has been my week thus far. It’s been hectic and eventful, but mainly tiring.

High School: A Mad Love Story

heart-583895_1280High school crushes are cute and all, but oh my gosh. They are so dumb. People cheat and don’t even treat each other decently about 80% of the time. The other 20% is terrible poems.

I still remember my crush. He plays a part in senior year as well. But you grow from this.

Sophomore year was a mess I don’t think I was more confused than I was during this time. I finally met the junior and seniors of the high school and enjoyed spending time with them. I did have a slight relationship for about 3 days during the fall (I think?) and the rest of the year was just me and my best friend. And a playful crush that meant nothing, now that I think about it. But I did ask him out. He said no.

That summer, I talked to a guy and then went to another for less than two months. Although, he did ask me out and I took a leap of faith. Yeah, I wasn’t proud of that. There wasn’t even the spark I was looking for. No guy truly had it.

Until around November. Football season was coming to a close and I met this breathtaking person. I’ll call him Football Guy for kicks. Oh my gosh. I still remember when he talked to me at that football game. We hung out a few times in the summer before senior year. He moved late July.

Senior year is going swell. I’m keeping my grades up and I’m finally prepping for graduation/college. Towards the end, I hit a low point. Still not sure what happened here. But yet, realize that even though there were only 2 relationships, I didn’t have fun in any of them.

I decide to go with my freshman crush. We kind of came back around and we didn’t have hostility between each other. He wasn’t the little freshman I remembered him as. But he did remember when I went to interview him sophomore year. I don’t know why he recollected that thought.

Oh well, he did and we did some regrettable things. We just couldn’t let go for the longest time. During mid to late April and early May, there was a sense of breaking off. When early June came and I needed to let go. The guy turned toxic. I did.

Well about the time of me letting go, Football Guy wasn’t busy. We wanted to hang out before month’s end. Oh boy. That didn’t come as a curse to me, though.

See, Football Guy had something different. He had a lot of heart and he didn’t quite know it yet. There was a spark. A real spark. Football Guy was the one to keep me warm and cozy. I have never been so open with I guy I wanted to engage with.

Football Guy opened up quite a bit. I decided to tell him the story of the senior year relationship. A one-year separation wasn’t too bad. It was just a rough time. I spent most of my time on a newspaper staff, reffing soccer and socializing with friends.

High school is kind of a sweet time for testing out waters. I might have finished my search for the human that compliments me. But I also know we’re headed into less of a distance with me going to college. This is kind of a late post, but I needed to prove that no matter what happens in high school, you need to be alert and aware.

You also need to have fun and let go. It’s okay to make the simple mistake of dating the wrong guy. Maybe something small you shouldn’t have done can slip by as well.

I don’t think I’m going to count the guys who wasted my time. I was always off doing my own thing. I never went on a real date with them, but I did occasionally hug the guy and maybe a kiss or two. But that was it. I do need to count the guy took a while to let go of. Something about him made no sense, but he did help me realize what to avoid.

There will always be a mistake lingering. No matter what goes down in high school. I was hoping to spend more time with my best friend and maybe do more club stuff.

That’s just it, though. High school is like middle school. It shouldn’t count. The raging testosterone and hormones make it so hard to be on your own way. I just wonder where my sophomore year crush is going to go. Because even through that mess, I stayed somewhat normal for him.

A Late Night Post About Life

Recently I realized that sometimes relationships and friendships are forever. My best friends and I still talk a lot. Even though I’ve been a bit more indoorsy than I have been all year.

Relationships are difficult, however. My last year crush is turning out to be pretty perfect. However, we’ll be closing the distance gap here soon and I’m really unsure but excited. Totally excited to at least go on a couple of real dates and not go a month not seeing each other.

I’m not a sucker for love. I just enjoy the romantic comedies a bit too much and I’ve found that in this guy. As I lay here at 2 am listening to Angels by The Xx, I’m not sure what to feel. I know I should be focused on college more than a guy, but prepping for both brought me closer to this point.

Literally, this whole summer has been about moving out and taking things slow. There’s a lot of hype around the house and my nighttime writing sessions really seem to make me realize it’s okay to slow down and think.

I don’t do enough of the whole slowing down. I probably have missed a few really great opportunities with a few friends because of that this summer. Something about being all work and very little play made me a bit of a stiff.

Recently, however, I picked up playing Halo and a few other video games before I leave. I know that’s not really much, but Pokemon Go is currently at a halt until I get my new phone. I usually socialize at a nearby park and meet other trainers.

There is something about Pokemon Go that has brought me back to my friends and outdoors. Usually, I just go to the gym or workout at home doing basic stuff. Not really much else.

I just have 15 days until I move out. This is really hard to take in right now. Like wow. I didn’t waste a summer did I? I enjoyed my time alone. But did I miss anything serious? Oh goodness, I still haven’t birthday shopped for a couple of people. August needs to chill. I don’t want to be that busy in just a couple of weeks or so.

The Final Stretch Before College

Well, my summer is practically over. It’s driving me crazy that my phone crashes just 20 days before I move. Dad is ordering my phone this morning and I should have in three to five days.

However, there’s still a car to find and textbooks to be ordered. I suppose that’s about all I really need for now.

Besides the final preps, I’m already missing friends. Most of us have been together for several years now, some when I first moved in about 6 years ago. There’s a special person who will be in my area and I know we’ll hang out a few times before my classes begin. I’m just worried my schedule will get crazy a little fast and I focus too much on one thing.

I’m used to having a social life and school. School work is usually done the second I have homework and I work on it for days on end. Then hang out with friends in between projects or if I’m in dire need of a break. This semester will new. I’m going to actually have a part time job somewhere that won’t mess with my academic schedule. Maybe Starbucks will be a good choice.

About a week or so into my move, I want to have purple in my hair. Just light touches. Nothing too serious. I still need to look decently professional.

I guess that’s literally all I have going on right now. There aren’t any good movies this month and video games are becoming prominent in my life before I leave behind the Xbox 360 for a while. My roommate still hasn’t contacted me and I’m getting a little worried about what happened to the contract. But I won’t stress until a little later.